Protecting What Matters Most

Breaking the news of divorce to an unhappy spouse

You want a divorce, and it’s clear to you that your spouse is not going to be happy about it. They have expressed in the past that they don’t want to get divorced, no matter what. You’ve tried to make the marriage work, though, and it’s just not possible. How do you break the news?

Don’t do it suddenly or in anger

The worst thing you can do is to wait until there is a disagreement and then tell them you want a divorce. They can feel blindsided, which makes things worse. Additionally, they may not realize you’ve been unhappy and think you’re divorcing them over that one single disagreement.

Don’t do it before you’re sure

Divorce is not a threat. It’s not something you bring out to make your spouse realize you’re serious. You only want to say that you’re interested in divorce when you’re sure that’s what you want. You can’t take it back.

Talk when you have time to talk

Saying that you want a divorce is just the first step in the process. You may find yourself in a long conversation with a lot of topics on the table. As such, only start this conversation when you have a clear schedule and plenty of time to talk. You do not want it to feel rushed.

Moving forward

Once you tell your spouse that you think it’s time to end the marriage, you need to move forward by looking into your legal options, considering what you want in the divorce and deciding how you’ll proceed if your spouse is angry and maintains that they will never get divorced.

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