Is your fiancé(e) really the person you should marry?

Everyone in New York has a few stray doubts before they make their way to the altar to say “I do.” That is pretty normal.

But sometimes, people get so wrapped up in passionate romance or Hollywood-style notions of bliss that they cannot be objective. For example, can you picture yourself sitting across the table having breakfast with this person thirty years from now, when both of you will probably be grayer and less magnetic?

There are no guarantees in life, as most of us find out sooner or later. There are no set-in-stone assurances that you will never get divorced, and the future with your beloved will be serene and last until eternity.

Still, it helps a lot to start with someone you mesh with and whose personality, character, values and ideals align with yours.

That does not mean that both of you always vote for the same political candidates, love deep-dish pizza or consistently think alike.

It does mean that when it comes to the bedrock stuff, there is a notable similarity. You agree on, for example, child-rearing techniques, how to handle the household finances, and respect each other even when you don’t see eye to eye.

What to check for in a future spouse

Think about these indications that the two of you belong together with wedding rings on your fingers:

• There is abiding mutual trust.
• You are caring, compassionate and thoughtful toward each other.
• You don’t feel the need to be with each other every second of the day.
• You enjoy the same recreational and leisure pursuits and have fun together.
• Your special someone is your top priority all or most of the time.

What if your marriage seems to be foundering badly?

If you have indeed gotten hitched to someone who is wrong for you, think about walking away, cutting your losses and making your split official.