One of the reasons many divorces take a long time is that people do not set clear goals. If you do not know where you are heading, it is less likely you will get there.
If someone asked you what you want in a divorce, what would you say? To regain control of your life? To be able to enjoy living again? Yet many people forget or never realize what they are seeking. They get sidetracked by getting even, getting the house, or getting custody of the kids.
Ensure your divorce aims contribute to your long term plan
When negotiating divorce settlements, consider how achieving specific outcomes will work out long term. For example:
- You want your life back, but you also want sole custody: Think about what life you want back. Is it the one pre-marriage and pre-kids where you could sleep late on a Sunday if you fancied, or call up friends and go out for a drink when you felt down? Having the children full-time will make that difficult. Sharing custody will allow you to have that lie-in if you feel like it and let you catch up with friends without needing to pay a babysitter.
- You want to move on with your life, but you want to get even: You dream of a time where you pass a whole day without your spouse’s name entering your head. If you can settle issues in a way that is acceptable to both of you, it should speed up the divorce process. If you fight for a deal your spouse considers one-sided, they are more likely to fight hard against it, lengthening proceedings. If you succeed initially, they may continue to haunt your thoughts for years as they try to get the payments they make you reduced or seek a greater share of custody.
With help to understand the legal facts of divorce, you can set reasonable and attainable short-term goals that complement your long-term ones.