Tips for staying positive during a divorce

If you are going through a divorce, you are probably feeling a range of emotions. Some of these may be positive; others, negative. Negative feelings can eat at you during a divorce. It is common for soon-to-be divorcés to feel depressed, angry, guilty and pessimistic about the future.

While it is normal —and even healthy— to feel these emotions during a divorce, it is important not to get caught up in them. Trying to maintain a positive attitude can go a long way toward getting you through this difficult time. These are a few tips that you can use to stay positive during your divorce.

Practice forgiveness

Many spouses are left kicking themselves or blaming their spouses for any perceived failures and faults during the marriage. This is unnecessary and will only leave you feeling tormented. When you are ready, it is okay to forgive and move on.

Move past anger

Anger is a common emotion during a divorce. Experiencing anger is healthy, but too much anger can consume and destroy you. Do your best to combat your anger by venting to friends and family, seeing a therapist and taking up activities that you find pleasant.

Avoid comparisons

Comparing your marriage to those of your friends, neighbors or coworkers is a recipe for self-doubt. Not every marriage is meant to last a long time. When you feel the urge to compare yourself to other people who are still married, try to resist.

Take control

The process of divorce can feel like an out-of-control free-fall—but it doesn’t have to. In your divorce, consider every tool available that can help you take control of the legal process. You can be proactive in influencing important aspects like your divorce settlement, custody decision and alimony payments.

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Keith B. Schulefand, Esq.
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