What not to do when telling kids about divorce

It may go without saying, but kids commonly know more than you think they know. Especially when it comes to the status of your relationship and whether you are fed up with your spouse. Depending on their age, they may know that a divorce is imminent even though you haven’t told them yet. Even with them possibly knowing, there are certain things that you should avoid doing when explaining that your marriage is ending.

This post will highlight a few of them. 

Don’t blame the other parent – The end of a marriage is not the time to assess blame or dis the other parent. Indeed, he or she may have been a challenging person to deal with, but they are still a parent to your child and the child likely still has strong feelings for him or her.

Don’t make the child choose – Divorce means that the dynamic of the family will change. Essentially one parent will move out of the family home, and the home may eventually be sold. This may mean that one parent will live in a separate home, and may want the kids to come with him or her. This is not the time to make the child choose between you and your soon-to-be ex.

Don’t block access – While some parents will disappear as a divorce takes hold, other parents may ostracize the other parent out of anger or resentment. Simply put, resist the urge to do this. Regardless of the status of your relationship, the other parent still has the legal right to spend time with the children. Denying access could have unintended consequences.

If you have additional questions about managing relationships with children during divorce, an experienced family law attorney can advise you. 

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