Keith B. Schulefand, Esq.
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Are you dealing with a high-conflict personality during divorce?

Dealing with a substantial amount of conflict can often take a considerable toll on the wellbeing of New York residents. When conflict acts as a standard part of your marital relationship, it could also stand as the reason that you now want to move forward with divorce. Though ending the marriage may be the best course of action for everyone involved, you could have concerns regarding the potential for conflict during the proceedings.

Though many marriages can come with their own conflicts, you may worry that you married someone with a high-conflict personality. When dealing with this type of person during any situation, you may have a more difficult time reaching an agreement. You may wish to consider the following signs that may point toward this type of personality and how you could deal with it.

Raised voice

Often, individuals with high-conflict personalities tend to raise their voices in order to escalate a situation. They may also carry out this action in order to seem intimidating and to initiate a defensive response from you. Whatever the reason, parties who do this often can cause a seemingly simple situation to become more stressful.

Defensive actions

People with this type of personality commonly take offense to inoffensive statements and feel as if they constantly face attacks. As a result, your spouse may twist any comments from you into something negative in order to put you in a bad light. You may feel the need to take overly considerate actions toward someone like this, but doing so could only encourage such actions.

Need to be right

High-conflict individuals also constantly feel the need to be right. They often argue over seemingly unimportant issues simply for the sake of proving they know the right answer. In the event that they do not have the right answer, they will typically blame others for their lack of knowledge.

Dealing with conflict during divorce

Though you may have faced these and many other circumstances during your marriage and found coping mechanisms, you may want to reassess your actions when going through divorce. If you have gotten into the habit of trying to keep your spouse calm or allowing situations to go his or her way, taking such approaches during divorce could result in negative outcomes for yourself. Therefore, you may wish to better understand your legal options and strategies for facing high-conflict situations and how to work toward your desired goals.

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